Every Moment Counts
by NellietheMarvelous
Summary: She pulled the door open with a harsh jerk of her arm, froze mid stride when she saw him standing on the other side. He had his left hand over the right side of his ribs and that was where her eyes drifted to. She wanted to be sick. She felt like she was going to be sick.


**Disclaimer: I live in small-town Oklahoma. That's a no to owning Castle.**

**A/N: Hope you enjoy this. 1: It has nothing to do with the finale. 2: Again it was a chapter to a different story - one that got deleted so I'm uploading it as a one shot.  
**

She just couldn't deal with any of it. The thought of what he'd done. The fact that she was sitting alone in her apartment and chewing on a nail instead of being with him. Had he completely lost his mind? She was just so angry and _scared_. Her heart was still racing in her chest, beating erratically against her ribcage and she was starting to worry it'd never settle back down. She couldn't. She just couldn't handle the thought of what could have happened if he'd moved a second sooner - a second later. Either way and it wouldn't have turned out well.

Tears welled in her eyes, blurred her vision as a knot formed in her throat. She shouldn't have sent him home. He was hurt but she was terrified and mad. So very mad _at_ him_, with _him_._ It wasn't fair. Why was she feeling like this? With a growl of frustration, she pushed up off of her couch, grabbed her keys and headed for the door. Her worry had won out over her anger. She needed to know he was okay.

She pulled the door open with a harsh jerk of her arm, froze mid stride when she saw him standing on the other side. He had his left hand over the right side of his ribs and that was where her eyes drifted to. She wanted to be sick. She felt like she was going to be sick.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" It was tumbling out before she could even properly greet him. She was still upset.

"I -"

"Seriously, what the fuck were you thinking?" He frowned, clearly stunned by the level of her anger - the fact that she was using such language. She didn't care. She just - he could have...what if? She turned away from him, wiped the tears from her eyes and stormed back into her apartment. He'd follow. She knew he would and he did. But his steps were slow, measured and hesitant. She heard the door close with a soft click of the latch as he shuffled closer. He was going to try to comfort her and she didn't want it. She did not want him making light of the situation.

"Kate -"

"No, Castle. You can't do stuff like that, you're not a cop." She whirled back around, faced him with the inside of her cheek caught firmly between her teeth and watched as he tried yet again to make an excuse.

"Just let -"

"I just can't even fathom what you were thinking and I'm so angry with you right now." She wasn't about to let him off the hook. She needed him to see how badly this affected her. She wanted to poke him. As stupid and silly as it seemed, she really just wanted to shove her finger into his chest with every word she spoke. "Dammit, Castle, you can not dive in front of me."

"He was shooting at you."

"Exactly. At me. Not you._ Me_ - a trained detective with a gun." He winced and she wasn't sure if it was because of the fact that she was laying into him or if he was in pain. Her heart constricted at the latter. "You're an idiot."

"If that makes you feel better, I'll take it."

"Just shut up."

"That too. I can do that." Clearly not because he wasn't obeying. She almost smiled - almost rolled her eyes but she was still too upset. He'd hit the ground. She'd heard that shot and then out of nowhere he'd just jumped right in the path of the bullet. He'd hit the ground and she'd thought in those first brief moments that his vest hadn't saved him.

And now he was here. In her living room and she just loved him so much that it was ripping her apart. He was hurt. He was injured and he shouldn't have been. He should have been fine but he wasn't and that really chafed at her soul. But he was staring at her, his expression too soft - too sweet and she just couldn't.

She ignored her anger, let her feet lead her over to him. He opened his arms and she didn't hesitate. Her mouth collided with his - pushed her pent up frustration against his lips. He let her. Took it all as she gave it freely. He didn't stop her and she was glad because she didn't know how she'd react. Her heart was still beating too loudly, too fast, too hard. This wasn't helping, the way he gripped at her hips - pulled her roughly against him. God, she just wanted to maul him. Make him understand that he'd been a complete moron. But he was hurt.

She had no idea when she ended up against the wall or when his thigh slid between hers but the moment she shifted her hips, a moan ripped from her lips. She left his mouth, darted along his jaw with several sharp nips. Adrenaline coursed through her veins, made her shift against his leg and it just felt too good. He was too good.

The fear. The anger. The hurt. All of it was pouring out, spilling over and she just didn't want to stop. Didn't care that there were layers of clothing between them. She needed the release. She rolled her hips, ground against his thigh. He could have died. Just a few seconds and instead of a that ridiculous glorious vest of his, the bullet would have hit his flesh.

She choked on a sob, buried her face in his neck and roughly - shamelessly - slid over his knee. He helped, guided with a hand on her hip - the other was beneath her shirt, brushing along the underside of her breast. He didn't tease. He said nothing at all as she shattered against him. Kissed her cheek when she moaned - low and throaty - fingers clutching sharply at his shoulders.

His heart was loud in her ear and she finally let a tear escape. Just one. And then she was done, she was exhausted and she was so glad that he was okay.

"Better?" Maybe it should have pissed her off even more that he sounded just a tad cocky but she actually huffed out a laugh and pulled back to see his face. Those eyes.

"You can't dive in front of bullets, Rick."

"I had a vest on, Kate, I'm fine." Technically he was right but it didn't matter. The bruising she knew he sported on his torso wasn't worth it.

The fire flared in her blood, made her tug at the buttons on his shirt. She needed to see - and she needed him naked. Wanted to feel that he was as _fine_ as he claimed. He didn't seem to understand her attention to his clothing, instead he took it as a sign to follow suit, to push her shirt up until it was bunched beneath her arms.

She lifted, let him rid her of the garment. She was pushing his off his shoulders when she felt the strap on her bra loosen. They'd both be naked in a matter of seconds. She knew. She skipped over his torso, made herself ignore the red angry purpling skin over his ribs and pushed and pulled until he was stepping out of his shoes and completely bare. She didn't want to hurt him. She almost put a stop to it but he stroked a hand along her stomach and _knew _he needed this too.

Her eyes caught for a split second on the fist sized bruise marring his soft skin. It made the anger she'd been feeling resurface. An ugly twisting thing in her chest that creeped down into her bones. There was nothing okay about any of it. She pushed him off of her with a growl, made him stop fumbling with the zipper on her slacks. Her chest was heaving, she couldn't breathe. He was _hurt_.

"Kate," Her eyes darted up to his face and she was lost. His eyes were always so expressive. It was like a fist wrapped around her heart, squeezed until she was sure it'd burst. She reached for him, grabbed until their fingers met and then she tugged him toward the bedroom. Her shoes were lost in the hallway, pants never made it passed the door and by the time her knees met the mattress - he was behind her, dragging the last article of clothing down her legs.

If they hadn't been together for so long, she might have been embarrassed by the way the wet fabric tried to stick to her skin but when he groaned in her ear, she knew he found it all the more arousing. She just needed him to understand that he couldn't keep jumping in front of bullets. She just needed him. Period. End of thought.

"Promise me you won't do that again." He dropped next to her, pulled her up to straddle his hips. Less painful for him and that tugged at her already too raw emotions. He should have been resting - not bare beneath her. "Promise me."

"I can't." Her eyes finally settled on the colors that mottled his smooth creamy flesh. The air stuck in her lungs, refused to come and she let her fingers ghost over the area. "I'm fine. Just bruised. You heard the doc, not even a cracked rib."

It didn't help to hear him say it but her lids slammed shut when he shifted against her - she was still buzzing from the first orgasm but she couldn't just forget. She leaned down, pressed her lips to the marred skin and let them rest there. Didn't stop kissing along his ribs until she felt his impatient fingers pinch at her nipple.

She sagged against him, let him roll her onto her back. No sound escaped when he lifted her knee, slid her leg over his waist and swiftly entered her with one long slow thrust. She was biting her lip, hard, unable to let any sound pass. He kissed her, let their mouths duel it out - fight over what they were both trying to say. She nipped at his lip, begged him to understand and he just soothed her with his tongue, used his teeth to massage her fears on a particularly well placed twist of his hips.

Her back arched, his mouth left hers and explored down her neck - sucked at her pulse point as his fingers danced along the outline of her breast. She pushed, raised her body to collide with his - to crash into him. He winced and she knew he was aching but their coupling wasn't going to last.

She whispered in his ear, begged him to go faster - harder. He did and she cried out - scraped her nails along his back, trying to find purchase and ground herself. Her brain was rushing, humming, blurring and she wanted it to all stop. Their bodies slid together with practiced ease - the rough jerky movements somehow fluid. It worked for them.

She never wanted to do this without him. Ever. She never wanted to imagine him gone. And...oh...he was so good at making her forget. The way his hands would bring goosebumps to her skin as he continued to push into her. He was everywhere. Their breaths were shared, his mouth open against her own. Their bodies joined with a slick slide of nothing but pleasure. Their souls so deeply entwined that she didn't even know how they were two separate people.

She felt the coil that started between her thighs spring up. It shot through her abdomen, tightened the muscles as she fought to just hold on. It was a losing battle - he stilled against her after a rough thrust and she was gone. Flying, falling, she didn't know which. But her body arched, her head falling back as he held her against him and let go. She felt him - felt the way he growled her name into her shoulder.

It lasted forever and not even five seconds. Her body was tensing, pulsing around him and it felt like hours before her muscles finally relaxed - before her high subsided to a pleasant buzz instead of a sharp almost painful burst. She fell back against the mattress - tremors still wracking over her. She pulled him down, heard his wince and knew it was from nothing but pain. They shouldn't have done that. God, she'd hurt him even more just by letting him take over.

"You okay? We shouldn't have done that." He didn't say much - they were both out of breath - but she felt him mumble something into her neck and she whimpered when he rolled to his side. "You're still an idiot."

"I'm always going to try and save you Kate. That's what you do when you love someone." She knew that. She did because she felt the same way.

"Then at least just think first. I was wearing a vest Castle, and I already had my gun drawn." His fingers stroked through the ends of her hair, tangled and smoothed over it. Tugged as he played. "A split second and I would've pulled that trigger. I would never be able to live with myself if you took a bullet from _my _gun because you were playing knight in shining armor."

"You know, I remember many of times when you threatened to shoot me."

"I'm being serious." She appreciated the attempt but she didn't want to gloss over it. She didn't want to just sweep it under the rug with humor.

"I understand what you're saying Kate. I do. Today, I pulled a stupid move and I have the bruised ribs to prove it but I won't apologize." Her hand stroked over the tender area on his side, tried not to press too hard. The skin was warm beneath her palm - hot and swollen - and she could feel his heart thumping.

"I know." He kissed her cheek, nudged her nose with his own and she felt her lips tilt in a smile. "I'm still mad at you."

"I know."

**a/n: Also, do any of you attend college online? I need a legitimate online college to look into.  
**


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